Nostalgia

Okay, so, I have about a thousand and one things to do tonight, which is probably why I am finally writing a blog after so long. Needless to say, my project isn't going well, but, well, I will restart it. Tomorrow. I promise. Okay, maybe Monday. Anyway... That's not what I am going to write about. I am missing my old friendships. Feeling like you've lost someone's friendship who was once so important to you is hard - and I've been feeling it a lot lately. This post is written about a specific person, but I know it applies to more than one.

I miss us. I miss being able to call you or see you any time to talk about or do anything. I miss our inside jokes. I miss all those times when I felt like we were the only two people in the world. I miss our ridiculous forever long conversations about everything from our futures to laughing about really, really stupid things. There was always something about you that I just felt, well, connected to - like we just understood each other (I understand that sounds extremely cliche, but it's still true). I'm not going to lie, I check in on you (via creepy Facebook style, which I'm not totally proud of). I wonder if you think about me. Was I naive to think things would never change? Yes. Am I stupid to wish that I could just call you and have everything go back to normal? Yes. Do I understand why we have fallen apart? Definitely. Should I just understand that things will never be the same? Probably. A very small part of me knew that our different interests and plans for the future would slowly wedge between us until we became those people who just wave at each other and smile should we ever run into each other, maybe make meaningless small talk. You know, the kind of people who you only really talk to when you wish them happy birthday on Facebook once a year and congratulate them on really big generic things. But, that's a very small part of me, and I'm still not totally convinced that's happened. I wish I had kept up with writing so I could write all of this in a more thought-provoking and lyrical manner. If you're reading this, know I'll always be here, and please understand that you have made a huge impact in my life and in who I am today. I know things won't be the same as they once were, but I'm okay with that. When we change, grow, and mature, I know our relationships must as well. My love, thanks, and good vibes to you. Always.